For you to understand where I am coming from when I get all excited about the country of China, both the good and the bad, is that this has been nothing short of an obsession for roughly the past 6 or 7 years of my life. The place has just fascinated me; from it's folk law to it's modern history, it's food to it's politics. I don't necessarily agree or admire everything that comes out of the country, but I am just in awe of it. I believe, because it grew up as a country so separate from other nations, it is the closest thing to an alien culture we have on our planet (from the perspective of a Westerner).
At the same time as being excited I am horrifically terrified. What if I end up not liking this culture I have close to worshiped (maybe exaggeration) far so many years of my life, what if the culture doesn't like me?
Silly and childish fears, similar to those of starting a new school I have observed, but genuine none the less.
My new and less than sexy-looking haircut does not do wonders to qualm these fears.
I am also consistently worrying about things like my visa being rejected (even though it has technically already gone through) or my going over my baggage allowance. I am just a paranoid little shit right now to be honest.
In other news I finished my Chinese literature essay, I think I had a good crack at it; maybe a high 2:1 (touch wood).
Also, I finally caved and went to TopMan and bought a considerably more expensive version of the yellow cardigan I found the other day. A picture:
This blog may be neglected in the next few weeks. Blogger is a blocked in China so any posts I will probably have to send through Tessa, Seamus or Tom. This may be the same for videos, so YouTube activity will probably be shaky.
Okay, I am going to watch a film and get myself to bed. 5am start tomorrow. Disgraceful! Who invented a time in the morning that early?!
5 comments:
Good luck Jazza! I'm sure China will love you as much as the UK does. :D
I can only imagine how excited and nervous you are haha. :P
Be safe, Jazza!
-MegTao
Good luck Jazza =)
I logged in especially to say that, I usually read you blog from the shadows like a creepy... anteater.
Have a great time mate
Good luck in China! Hopefully it lives up to your expectations.
Jazza, thats the EXACT same way i feel about England...wierd, huh?
Since I was 13, i've just been in love, and its been my dream to live there for at least a year.
But as i'm closer to graduation, i'm realizing that my dream may come true soon. But i'm SO scared that once i get there, I'll be disappointed that it wasnt all that i've loved for the past 5 years, or that i wont fit in. Or that the excitement will wear off after a while..i dont know, i'm just scared.
Is that how you feel?
Either way, i know you'll at least have a good time, my best friend is chinese and she lived there until she was 12. and she goes back every summer and has a ton of fun. the exchange rate is good, isnt it? you can have some good shopping and be trendier than your friends :)
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