This could be seen as my first job really, I have done part time bar work before but this is the first time I have genuinely felt like part of an organisation.
Funnily enough, as I was leaving my last class on Friday, signing out in the book and saying goodbye to everyone, my strongest feeling was to get out of there as quickly as possible.
It sounds horrible, and is quite hard to explain, but my mind was almost screaming;
"Haha! I have fooled you all for I am not a real teacher at all! I am Jazza, The Magnificent, and you all just got conned!"
I still don't feel like a real teacher. To me I am still just the kid that gesticulates too much and dances round the classroom like a madman. If it weren't for my students telling me that they liked my lessons (and even started a petition at one point demanding the organisation give me a full time position) then I would be very confused as to whether I was doing a good job or not.
I think, and hope, that I feel like this because I love this type of work so much, and it feels like I have conned them into giving me money through me just having fun. I always say that I may not always teach, I would like to do more in my life, but if I were 'stuck' in this job my whole life I would be perfectly content.
I guess I need to count my blessings. The vast majority of people go through life having no idea what makes them happy and what they would be happy doing with their fleeting time on this earth. At the age of 20 I have found mine.
At least I think I have. *touch wood*
I think, and hope, that I feel like this because I love this type of work so much, and it feels like I have conned them into giving me money through me just having fun. I always say that I may not always teach, I would like to do more in my life, but if I were 'stuck' in this job my whole life I would be perfectly content.
I guess I need to count my blessings. The vast majority of people go through life having no idea what makes them happy and what they would be happy doing with their fleeting time on this earth. At the age of 20 I have found mine.
At least I think I have. *touch wood*
5 comments:
i read that in your voice.
it was the most peculiar thing.
Sounds like you are having an awesome time as a teacher. I am sure as you build more self confidence, you will feel less like "Jazza The Magnificent" and start to relax.
I would love to have you as my teacher!
If I had you, or someone like you as a teacher I probably would have enjoyed school quite a lot more than I did.
I'm glad you've found what makes you happy:)
I'd love to have you as my teacher!
Although I adore my English teacher, especially since she's Irish<3
I'm glad you had fun (:
Presenting information to students is only half, more maybe even less than half, of what teaching is about. The balance is finding a way to inspire and help your students learn and use the information. Your students are telling you that you do that, which makes you a teacher. You may be only seeing the first part in yourself.
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